The fervent joy of being a fan (+ ranking the ships I've stanned)

It's been a while! I've been going through it - aside from my recent family loss, I also just spent a week in hospital getting my appendix removed. I need a little more joy and silliness in my life. Hence, this post.

I love being a fan. I am earnest, I am cringe, I am free. I've been screeching about my favourite TV shows/books/movies/bands online for decades now. What I love about existing within fandoms is that they expand the universe of the narrative they're based on; fan theories, fanedits, fanfiction. Some of the most popular fiction in the world was adapted from fanfiction (including a show that will appear later in this piece - Heated Rivalry. The first book in that series was based on a fanfiction about Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes (Captain America)).

I am also a hopeless romantic. One of the most fun things about being in a fandom is shipping. Obsessing over a GIF where the two characters brush hands. Analysing the subtext for suggestions of connection and intimacy. It's like having a feral crush and a fervent cause all at once - I am obsessed with this relationship, but I also want everyone to join me in the obsession. Most recently I have obsessed over Shane and Ilya from Heated Rivalry. That is what drove me to reflect on my decades of experience as a shipper. Have I shipped well? Do I stand by the ships that 14-year-old me made shaky GIFs of? Let's find out together.

The ranking (worst to best)

This is not an exhaustive ranking. Some of my fandom past deserves to be left in the past (I was a staunch Gleek. And worse). Plus, the list would be way too long - I've been chronically online for nearly 20 years.

Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin (The Social Network)

OKAY LISTEN. YOU HAD TO BE THERE! If you were on Tumblr at the time The Social Network was released, you might've encountered the Mark/Eduardo fandom. Blame it on the charm of Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield, combined with the melancholy, yearning soundtrack (shoutout Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross). Those characters are, of course, very far removed from the real people that inspired them. Looking back from a 2026 perspective, the fact that we were all so stoked to imagine Mark Zuckerberg kissing a dude seems incomprehensible, and possibly immoral. There was one major, very long fanfic about these two which was written by Tumblr user robinsparkles - we were Tumblr mutuals at the time, and they are now a very well-known queer romance author. I won't name them as I'm sure they would love to forget this era, particularly the prolific use amongst their followers of the word "Jewnicorns" to refer to Mark and Eduardo. Ick!

Most memorable quote: "I need you." "I'm here for you."

Dean Winchester and Castiel (Supernatural)

I wish I could forget that I used to be a Superwholock stan. Unfortunately I think it's a rite of passage for cringe autistic queer Millennials, and I'm no exception to the rule. I stopped stanning for this couple many years before they become kind-of canon in the show. Once again, you have to blame two solid performances from semi-attractive white men and a heavy dose of yearning for why this couple is so compelling.

Most memorable quote: "I'm the one that gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson (One Direction)

This one is regrettable, because fundamentally it requires you to obsess over two real human beings - TEENAGERS, might I add - who may be in the closet, and trying to find clues as to whether they're queer and in love with each other. Famously, the 'Larry' fandom became so obsessive that it drove apart Harry and Louis as friends. Harry Styles has dropped many significant hints towards being queer over the years, but has not actually come out. There's no doubt that the intense shipping of Harry and Louis - particularly by the most extreme fans - had real life negative consequences.

What was so compelling is that they seemed like normal teenage boys, and a lot of the people who loved them were teenagers ourselves, some of us queer. Their life seemed charmed, exciting, aspirational, but it was grounded by the fact that they'd stumbled into fame and into each other's lives by a twist of fate (also known as X-Factor UK). The idea of becoming famous and finding the love of your life in one fell swoop is deeply appealing to the average angsty teenager. Nonetheless, I fear this ship has had curséd consequences, evocative of a Shakespearean tragedy.

Most memorable quote: "My first real crush was... Louis Tomlinson."

Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)

The Vampire Diaries was like Twilight for indecisive people. Elena spends several seasons trying to decide between two hot vampire brothers, and ultimately - to my delight - ends up with bad boy Damon. The show could not decide who she was meant to be with for a loooong time. They set up this reveal that Stefan had been there the night Elena's parents died, and then later set up a reveal that Damon had been there even earlier that day. It was very silly.

Crucially, Elena is a vulnerable, orphaned teenage girl and Damon is a serial murderer old enough to be her great-great-great grandfather. Plus, the previous love of his undead life was an exact doppelganger of Elena from hundreds of years prior. There was a lot of baggage. Did that stop me from reblogging numerous gif sets of them? No. They're both beautiful people and they had ridiculous chemistry (surely helped by their real life relationship at the time). There's a wholesomeness to Elena's relationship with Stefan though that I always found hard to let go of. It's sort of like Rory/Dean vs. Rory/Jess (of Gilmore Girls) if Dean was way less annoying.

Most memorable quote: "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger."

Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (Twilight)

Speaking of vampires - I couldn't talk about shipping without touching on the couple that started it all (for me). As an anxious teenager convinced of my own innate weirdness, there was no better fictional stand-in than clumsy, autistic-coded Bella. Edward was obsessive, protective, beautiful, eternal. He's a very potent figure to a young person who is just starting to investigate their feelings about sex and romance.

Boring people would argue that Bella and Edward are in a toxic, borderline-abusive relationship. I would argue that Bella is a horny, dramatic teenager and Edward is a born-again self-hating Christian and they're both as bizarre as each other. Every book in the series gets more ridiculous, until it culminates in a Mormon romantic dream; they're married and desperately in love, with an eternal child, married to their best friend, and living in a weird commune of married teenagers. Awesome.

Most memorable quote:

"I’m not afraid of you, I’m only afraid of losing you. I feel like you’re gonna disappear."

"You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you."

The Doctor and Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

I'm alarmed to realise how many of my all-time favourite fictional relationships feature a supernaturally old man and a teenage girl. Let's not look too deeply into that.

The appeal of this couple's story is that Rose, a working-class shopgirl from London, is whisked across the universe for endless adventure by a charming, powerful, kind man (The Doctor) who is obsessed with her. It's the dream, to be swept up from your day-to-day life and shown all the wonders of the universe by someone you're in love with. Famously, their story ends tragically. Rose becomes trapped in an alternate universe without The Doctor and he is forced to move on without her. Eventually, when he regenerates basically a clone of himself, that clone goes to live with Rose and she's able to live out a human life with a version of The Doctor. I don't know who found that ending satisfying, but it wasn't me.

They made each other better people, and motivated each other to better the rest of the universe too. Aside from the astronomical age gap, I think this was a lovely couple to be obsessed with as a teenager.

Most memorable quote: "The first 19 years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all. Not ever. And then I met a man called The Doctor."

Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov (Heated Rivalry)

I would've ranked this higher but I fear it would've been recency bias, so I'm holding back. This is the most interesting, emotive gay romance I've seen on TV possibly ever? The power combo of a woman writer and a gay man director is what allowed Shane and Ilya's story to flourish. The show - which is centred around their relationship - is packed with yearning, repressed emotion, and intimacy. I also love that we have a queer autistic romantic lead on mainstream television.

The final episode of season 1 handles being closeted (and then accidentally un-closeted) so authentically; the feeling of joy of being with someone you love, intertwined with the fear and anticipation of pain of potentially being rejected for that very love. I can't wait to see what season 2 brings.

I feel like I could talk about this couple for a long time (and my obsession with them is what inspired this very piece) but let's move on.

Most memorable quote: "Это значит, что теперь у меня никого нет. Ну… ну не совсем никого, у меня есть Светлана. Она меня любит. И я её люблю. Но не так, как… Чёрт. Не так, как я люблю тебя. Вот в чём вся хрень. Я хочу только тебя. И всегда только тебя. Я так сильно тебя люблю и не знаю, что с этим делать."

"I have Svetlana. She loves me. And I love her. But not the way... Damn it. Not the way I love you. That's the whole point. I only want you. And always only you. I love you so much and I don't know what to do with it."

Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Of course, my favourite show of all time - and the first show that put lesbians on my TV screen - is at the top of this ranking. I nearly put Buffy and Spike up here but my feelings about that relationship are too complicated. Plus, there were enough vampire boy/mortal girl relationships in this list. I might have a problem.

Willow and Tara stand out as the most important relationship in Buffy. They made each other better, stronger people. Tara supported Willow through addiction and they become accidental co-parents to a magical teenage girl. You probably already know how their narrative ends - I guess I shouldn't have expected better from a show run by a cishet man in 2002, but I feel bitter about it all the same.

One of my favourite moments in their relationship is when Willow has to reckon with Oz's return - her love for her ex-boyfriend is very real, and means a lot to her. Willow's love for Tara is just so clear and so powerful that the choice is obvious. It was a careful and kind portrayal of someone realising that she is a lesbian, without ever having to dunk on Oz, or the person Willow was when she loved him.

I know people have gripes with Willow/Tara. Tara was almost certainly too good for Willow. I just can't get over the fact that we had two out and proud lesbians as main characters on a major show 20 years ago. Lesbians who were allowed to be affectionate (eventually) and intimate without being fetishised. I don't think I've seen a better lesbian relationship on TV since.

Most memorable quote: "Willow and I always know how to find each other."

Some honourable mentions:

• Rory/Jess (Gilmore Girls)
• Pacey/Joey (Dawson's Creek)
• Santana/Brittany (Glee)
• Every couple on Bridgerton
• Nick/Jess (New Girl)
• Elio/Oliver (Call Me By Your Name)

And many, many more. Tell me about your favourite ships!